Honestly, life is feeling beyond a little wild right now. I want so badly to be focused, persistent, productive, but everything just feels so out of control. I even want to be present, in the mess, in the unpredictability, in the chaos. But even that feels so elusive. It’s like so much of my energy and attention are consumed by the urgent need to keep my head above water and I often actually feel so out of breath like I am literally gasping for air. Granted I am sixteen weeks pregnant with my third child in under three years.
It would be too easy to blame the way I am feeling on my present circumstances, but that doesn’t even feel like the truth. This feels like something that was long in the making. Something building from years of misguided focus and missed opportunities for growth. It’s as though at the root of the problem is the fact that I lack the basic fundamental skills required to execute what I am expecting of myself. It feels overwhelming because I cant exactly stop my life to back track and learn what I missed, but also moving forward feels impossible without that missing foundation.
So, I am going back…and I’m moving forward.
What does that look like?
Well I think it’s all in the little details. Looking closely at where I want to be and where I am now. Then considering the realistic steps I can take to bridge that gap. The clearest example that comes to mind for me is around a habit that I think most people don’t even think twice about and that is bushing your teeth twice a day.
I cannot remember a time when I was ever in the habit of regularly brushing my teeth twice a day, but obviously that is an important habit to have and one I want to build. I have tried and failed many times to keep up with brushing right before bed but the challenge is that I don’t already have any sort of bedtime routine or ritual in place. Without something to anchor the brushing habit onto it just doesn’t seem to stick.
Instead, I have begun anchoring my second bushing of the day to my shower which typically happens in the evenings. So I am going back and rewiring the habit into the routines I already have instead of trying to muster up the ability to do something completely new.
Though seemingly a small detail to put so much thought into, this skill or habit is one that is very important to me because as a mom, not only do I have to manage my dental health but also that of my children. My eldest is just two years old, but this is the time that the habits not only help care for his teeth but they become built into his lifestyle.
Anchoring becomes so much more helpful here with the responsibility to manage this habit for two people, me and my toddler, both of whom do not have a strong grasp on it. I have my toddler brush in the morning with me and just as I brush in the evening with my shower, my toddler bushes every day after a bath.
It’s a tiny detail to be putting so much thought and effort into but it has such a large impact. So I am looking deep into the little things, breaking down the details and building them back up bit by bit. It will take a lot longer than I would like but I am not looking for shortcuts, I am looking for a strong and reliable foundation. Not just one I can build my life on but one I can support the generations of my family to come.
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